1
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:09,700
Well, I'm extremely happy to announce
that today is Highland High's career

2
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:15,380
Now, this is a wonderful opportunity for
you guys. This will give you a chance

3
00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:19,420
to interface with working professionals
and learn about their exciting and

4
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,900
rewarding job fields.

5
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:25,240
Uh, is this, like, going to be on a test
or something?

6
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:30,320
This is a life test, butthead. And
please raise your hand if you have a

7
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:35,610
question. And as an incentive, everyone
will be excused from one day of school

8
00:00:35,610 --> 00:00:38,230
in order to observe their vocation of
choice.

9
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,190
Cool. Yeah.

10
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:44,110
Vacations kick ass. They kick ass. Yeah.
Kick ass.

11
00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:45,330
Yeah.

12
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,050
Check this out, buddy.

13
00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:53,510
You could be saving money on long
-distance calls to family and friends.

14
00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:58,290
Yeah. They keep talking about big
savings, but I just don't see it.

15
00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,060
Oh, no.

16
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:06,980
Oh,

17
00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,460
boy. How did this ever happen?

18
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:10,920
Yeah, really.

19
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:14,060
This is like just a bunch of bungholes.
Yeah, yeah.

20
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,180
Yeah, because... Whoa, that's that
Brenda bitch from Beverly Hills,

21
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,920
902355781234567898265. 210.

22
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,460
Leave us next time you're talking about
that show.

23
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,860
Just say Beverly Hills and forget about
the numbers, okay?

24
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,220
Oh, okay.

25
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,040
So, like, why the hell is she hanging
out with these wussies?

26
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,100
Yeah, I thought that, like, if you're a
bitch, You'd, like, be into, like,

27
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,120
something more hardcore.

28
00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:47,700
I think sometimes if you're a bitch,
it's like, you listen to crap like this.

29
00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:51,100
Yeah, maybe it's like, it's like, she
doesn't even like it, but she just,

30
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,240
plays this stuff just to piss people off
because she's a bitch.

31
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:55,660
Yeah.

32
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,600
Bitches are cruel.

33
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,380
Bitches are cruel.

34
00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,020
Um,

35
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,860
hey, this guy looks familiar.

36
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,680
Well, that's that guy. Remember when we
saw those naked movies at your uncle's

37
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,260
house? That's the guy that was in them,
right there.

38
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,680
How do you know, Beavis? I recognize
him. That's him. That's the guy that was

39
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,680
those naked movies, remember?

40
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,540
It's like, he had a schlong and he was
like, you know, like doing that, you

41
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:27,800
know. You were looking at that guy's
face when there was all that porn action

42
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,800
going on?

43
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:32,040
Well, you were probably looking at his
wiener, dumbass.

44
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:34,700
No, I wasn't.

45
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,260
I was looking, like, around his wiener.

46
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,200
I guess he's, like, in a band or
something?

47
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:47,080
No. This band probably just, like, keeps
him around because he can get chicks.

48
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,040
Yeah.

49
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,960
How come that guy gets to be a naked
movie?

50
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,740
He's just, like, a big, fat, ugly slob.

51
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,260
Yeah.

52
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,880
Well, you're almost there, Beavis. All
you need to do is just, like, get fat.

53
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,180
Really? How do I get big and fat?

54
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,820
Uh... I don't know.

55
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:13,840
I'm getting sick and tired of dudes who
sing like this.

56
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,960
Yeah, it's like almost every damn video
you see has, like, some guy singing like

57
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:19,960
this. Yeah.

58
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,080
It's like he's trying to be alternative.

59
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that,
yeah. And it sucks.

60
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,470
We markets are cool.

61
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:39,030
Yeah. Say, boys, interested in the
printed page?

62
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,250
Uh, you got anything with naked chicks?

63
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:43,529
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

64
00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:44,530
With big hooters.

65
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:51,110
Uh, no. We do mostly educational and
technical manuals. Who's gonna buy that

66
00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:52,690
crap? Yeah, really.

67
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:57,350
Beavis, butthead, you're supposed to be
exploring career opportunities.

68
00:03:57,970 --> 00:03:59,490
These jobs are stupid.

69
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,830
Yeah. Everyone, like, works in a booth.

70
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,190
These people don't work in boobs.

71
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:07,830
They're here to answer questions and
help you plan your future.

72
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,190
Your life after graduation?

73
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:18,589
Well, if you guys don't pick a career,
Van Driesen won't let you skip a day of

74
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,589
school next week.

75
00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:22,010
Uh, skip school?

76
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:23,850
Uh,

77
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,830
we, like, need a career or something.

78
00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:33,950
Help us get out of school.

79
00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:37,370
You fellas think you got what it takes
for security work?

80
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:39,390
Do we get to kick some ass?

81
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,370
Yeah. Do we get taters and tear gas?

82
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,010
Hell no.

83
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,690
I work at the mall.

84
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,030
Video surveillance.

85
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:49,650
Basically, they pay me to watch TV all
day.

86
00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,050
Whoa.

87
00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:54,490
Cool. Yeah, yeah. Hey, buddy. We can do
that.

88
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:56,710
Yeah.

89
00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,470
This is gonna be cool.

90
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:06,330
Coming up next, Butthead helps an old
lady across Snake River Canyon.

91
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:09,130
Stay tuned.

92
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:14,169
Okay, fellas.

93
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,670
Very simple. All you have to do is watch
these screens.

94
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,390
Cool. Hey,

95
00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,069
where's the remote?

96
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,070
Hey, mill him out!

97
00:05:22,090 --> 00:05:25,790
If you spot any unusual activity, you
come and get me immediately.

98
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,890
I gotta go secure the food court.

99
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:29,610
Uh, okay, dude.

100
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,180
Yeah. Okay, we got it under control.

101
00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,720
These shows suck.

102
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,780
Yeah. Change it to something cool.

103
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,500
I'm trying.

104
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,320
There's nothing good on. These channels
all suck.

105
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,720
Yeah.

106
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,180
Really. Let's go out and bust somebody
or something.

107
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,600
Yeah.

108
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,020
Let's secure them all.

109
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:00,719
Hey, buddy.

110
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,140
People respect the badge.

111
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,640
Yeah.

112
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:07,140
Because it, like, gives us permission to
kick their ass and stuff.

113
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,240
Chicks like a man in a uniform.

114
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,500
Yeah.

115
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,940
Check this out.

116
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,380
Excuse me, ma 'am.

117
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,740
Yes? I'm, like, security.

118
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,180
And, like, I'm gonna have to ask you to,
you know, assume the position.

119
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,900
If you lay a hand on me, I'll sue your
ass.

120
00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:34,420
Whoa.

121
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,019
Hey, buddy.

122
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,680
Let's look for some crimes or something.

123
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,520
Yeah.

124
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,740
Uh, excuse me, sir. Did you pay for
that?

125
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,020
Yeah, yeah.

126
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,500
If you just cooperate, it'll make it a
lot easier on both of us, okay?

127
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400
Uh,

128
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,220
excuse me, ma 'am.

129
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,540
Who, me?

130
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,560
Could you step over here for a minute,
please?

131
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:58,709
Yeah, yeah.

132
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,010
Yeah, we'd just like to talk to you for
a minute, please. Could you step over

133
00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:02,010
here?

134
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,810
This is gonna be cool.

135
00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:07,530
Oh,

136
00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:14,270
check it out, butthead. It's an outie.
That's not an outie, Beavis.

137
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:16,090
There's two of them. See, it's a nipple.

138
00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:18,370
Those aren't nipples, butthead. Look how
low they are.

139
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:21,850
No way, Beavis. That's just because she
doesn't have any legs or a butt.

140
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:26,670
Oh, yeah, yeah. Besides, nipples can be
low. Just look at your mom.

141
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,720
Yeah, I guess they are nipples, man.

142
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,160
Whoa, check out that black juice.

143
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:33,760
Yeah.

144
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:35,720
He's going to save the day.

145
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.

146
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:42,519
Check it out.

147
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,519
He's shaking his head.

148
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:44,980
Wake up. Wake up, honky.

149
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:46,780
Yeah.

150
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,000
That dude's like, dang it, quit messing
with my head and go get my legs.

151
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:54,820
Yeah.

152
00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,750
Check it out, buddy. A flot.

153
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:06,550
Yeah.

154
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,450
Your mother, the flot.

155
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,550
I'm not a mother.

156
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:12,670
I'm a bee.

157
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,790
Well, that dude's got a pet bee.

158
00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:17,510
That's pretty cool, yeah.

159
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,490
I had a bee that I teach it to go sting
people.

160
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,320
Take him, boy. Take him. Take him in the
box. Go.

161
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:26,920
Yeah.

162
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,080
Okay.

163
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,480
Good night, little dude.

164
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:33,740
See you tomorrow.

165
00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:37,919
Oh.

166
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,860
What the hell are those punks doing?

167
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,320
Uh, did you pay for that, ma 'am?

168
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,800
Yeah. Can I see your receipt, please?

169
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,660
Yeah. Can I see your slip?

170
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,480
Excuse me?

171
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:52,560
Uh, can we, like... Frisk you?

172
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,240
Yeah, yeah, me too. I don't think so.

173
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,240
What are you doing away from your post?

174
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,000
Let me handle this.

175
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,940
Did you, uh, purchase that, ma 'am?

176
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,320
Yes, I did.

177
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,340
I apologize, ma 'am. I'm going to have
to ask you to assume the position.

178
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,400
It looks like a full cavity search.

179
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,480
White trash, rent -a -cop piece of...

180
00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:23,150
Security is cool.

181
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:34,730
Is that one of those sneaker ads where,
like, the basketball players sit

182
00:09:34,730 --> 00:09:35,730
around in a barbershop?

183
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,090
Uh, yeah.

184
00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,670
Only it's, like, a bunch of white guys.

185
00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,090
And white music.

186
00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,590
Yeah. It's butt -white music.

187
00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:49,190
Hey, where'd that cat come from?

188
00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,130
I think it came out of his nose.

189
00:09:52,770 --> 00:09:55,050
Is that supposed to be funny?

190
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,790
It's supposed to be.

191
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:01,330
It would have been funny if it came out
of his butt.

192
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:06,230
Why is that? I mean, how come, like, if
it comes out of his nose, it's not that

193
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,590
funny, but, like, if it comes out of his
butt, it's funny?

194
00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:12,630
Why is that? Well, it's because, like,
your butt has a crack in it.

195
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:14,750
Oh, yeah.

196
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:26,150
What a wuss.

197
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,670
I hate it when you go to the barber, and
it's like, he starts cutting your hair,

198
00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,770
and then he goes, oh, how's school?

199
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:36,190
Yeah.

200
00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:38,430
I usually say, it sucks.

201
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,230
Now shut up and cut my hair before I fix
that.

202
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,440
comb up your butt.

203
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,500
You know, butthead, maybe that's why you
get all those fucky haircuts, you know.

204
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,980
Maybe you should try being a little
nicer.

205
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,900
I'm gonna shove a comb up your butt.

206
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:53,380
My hair looks cool.